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As of this Spring, I’ve now been married two years. Yikes. TWO WHOLE YEARS. 

Right now, Sean and I are both sitting in the living room working on our laptops – he’s editing photos and I’m writing. We are both ridiculously lucky and stupidly happy. There is a lot of exuberance and adventurous energy in our life and I have felt more open to being public about that as time goes on.  I’m still fiercely protective of our relationship and have a lot of things I like to keep private but I feel it’s actually my relationship with the public that has shifted for the better and recently allowed me to share more easily. 

Sometime soon after we were first married, someone took duplicitous steps to get their hands on personal photos of mine and ended up finding a picture of our wedding. This picture, a beautiful image of such a personal, delicate, precious, vulnerable and special moment, quickly made it out into the internet and ended up placed in articles talking about my dad’s arrest, subsequent charges and speculation about graphic details. Although there is no indication that this was the original person’s plan, they either didn’t take the time to realize this was bound to happen or did it anyway regardless. 

I don’t know how much you might know about trauma and it’s effects, but I had a mini-meltdown when this happened. If someone has experienced longterm childhood abuse, it is a struggle to recover one’s sense of control and ownership over one’s own body and one’s own truth. Not only was I working through this, I also was in the depths of coming to terms with the feeling of exploitation of my individual work and public image that had happened through reality tv, media and the career of the band. After about a year and a half of trauma therapy working through the abuse of my childhood, these wider feelings of confusion over issues with my previous public life had begun to resurface. The picture being taken and released without my consent was devastating and felt like another massive violation and betrayal. Blown out of proportion in my mind, it made the outside public world feel unsafe and unable (or unwilling) to understand me all over again.

Bottom line, I felt like it might not even be possible to set the record straight, restore order and get people to understand the complex story.

It’s taken some work, but I’m amazed how differently I feel only one year later. (Time really is so crucial to any healing process!) So, what’s changed? I’m working to let go of the need to always set the public story straight and correct how people see me. Some people will always have a wrong or outdated perception and I can’t make it my responsibility to fix that. That would be a never ending (and never succeeding) endeavor. What’s more important is living that true life and making it a healthy one. Simply taking more time to concentrate on real relationships around me continues to anchor my heart and keep me more present. I’m building a truly beautiful life with my husband. Now the choice to make something public is one born out of joy, celebration and exploration. And it feels good for that to be a choice. It makes the world feel safer, more inviting and supportive.

When I look back on our wedding day two years ago, I want to tell the whole world about the love I’ve found. I was happy then and believed in the commitment I was making but now that feeling has multiplied a million times over. Those vows are colored and intensified by the times I’ve gotten to see them in action in our life so far. I thought it was good then and it’s even better now. Here’s a few pictures that mean a lot to me from that day and I’m happy to share them with you to celebrate our second anniversary. Here’s to many more! <3

– Jessica 5.19.2019.

49 Comments

  • Lacey says:

    Beautiful photos. Thanks for sharing❤️

  • Tena Greear says:

    You are breathtakingly beautiful. As a mom I know how important it is for your daughter’s wedding day to be perfect. It looks like your mom got her wish! Congratulations!!!

  • Judy says:

    You were an exquisitely beautiful bride and I believe from your writings and strengths that you are a beautiful soul inside too. Your husband (may G-D bless him) looks like an amazing, kind and loving man. May your love go from strength to strength and may your recovery continue in leaps and bounds. You are a real hero.

  • Cathy says:

    These are beautiful, as are you! Thanks for sharing them and your journey! God Bless You Always!

  • Janet Peirson says:

    Thank you for sharing. Beautiful pictures. Wishing you joy and happiness today and always.

  • Andrea Mayer says:

    Thank you for sharing.

  • Murlann Vaine says:

    Oh Jess you look so happy and in love. The whole family looked happy and having fun. I am so happy that God brought Sean into your life. He knew you needed to feel safe, respected and shown what real love was suppose to feel like. I can hear the change in your music, the way you look ( you have a radiant glow about you now) and you smile a lot now. God is good and he brought you through the fire and made you whole again. I pray you and Mr. Bootstrap have a long and happy life together. I have you and your family in my prayers. God bless.

  • Joseph Dobis says:

    Loved all the pictures and all of the happy moments with your family and friends!

  • Kelly Zimmer says:

    Jess!! These are beautiful pictures!! Thank you for finally coming to a comfortable place sharing them. Keep in mind too that you have had, whether you have known it or not, a very large fold behind you who never, ever for a moment, flinched on our loyalty and love for you. No matter what, hold on to that. This blog entry has said many, many meaningful things. Some things only survivors can truly relate with and fully understand. You are never alone in those soul connections. Sending big love to you Fisher Folks! 😉😘💕
    P.S. yup, we took that Caribbean cruise adventure! Your wanderlust is contagious!

  • Karen Torsey says:

    Beautiful wedding photos!!! Happy anniversary to you both

  • Cheri Swanson says:

    I love you new web site! The pictures are beautiful. I wish you both years and years of happiness.

    Cheri

  • Amy Nickerson says:

    Beautiful photos. I love all the happiness here.

    • Susan J Colley-Smith says:

      Hey Jessica, It’s understandable how you felt. I’m glad you have been able to work thru the emotional injury that was placed upon you. This may color your feelings the rest of your life as it has mine. As a teacher, I feel helping children has helped my own healing. The beauty in your writing, music and leatherwork has brought So Much JOY to So Many and in turn aided your healing. You have such a Bright Future and Your fans feel joy as you discover it💕🎶✝️

  • Morgan Smith says:

    Thank you for sharing! And you’re so right! But it’s very hard to not want to defend ourselves. You’re such an inspiration! And I’m so happy for you and your husband on your second anniversary! What a beautiful adventure!

  • Catherine says:

    Happy anniversary! The pictures are stunning 🙂 It’s wonderful seeing your family celebrating during what was an amazingly difficult time for all of you.

  • Cindy Bryerose says:

    Stunning beautiful. Thanks for sharing your joyous day.

  • Jan Ledwig says:

    Such amazing photos! Love you and your family! Continued blessings for a free soul and an inner peace!

  • dominique VERNAISON says:

    very nice pictures. thanks you for revealing a small part of your secret garden. happy birthday

  • Brenda Storm says:

    Love the Pictures. You are a Beautiful girl, you look just like your Mom! Congratulations on your 2nd Anniversary, and many more.

  • Josephine says:

    What beautiful, joyful photos! Thanks for sharing!!

  • Elissa says:

    What a beautiful day! I absolutely love your dress! Stunning! I am so happy your happy,Ive been married 37 years,and I always wake up and say”what can I do to make my spouse’s day just a little bit easier💜I hope you have the happiest of anniversaries ❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️

  • Lana Stewart says:

    I am so happy for you!!! Congratulations on your 2nd Anniversary! Here’s to a lifetime of beautiful anniversarys together!

  • Valerie Peterson says:

    The photo’s are beautiful and the day looks so joyous. The most beautiful thing for me is how you navigate your life and share your journey of healing. There is no doubt many people are being blessed by your truth. Thank you, Valerie in Colorado

  • Tammy says:

    Beautiful pictures. thanks for sharing them and your story.

  • Lindsay V says:

    Such beautiful pictures!

  • Vaneta says:

    Joyous day!! Beautiful bride and inspiring photographs! I love that you are able to share. I also love that you are letting go of the things you cannot control. You will run into things the rest of your life that you cannot control, and it will be difficult to let them go. (I’ve learned in counseling that it’s even more difficult for those of us who are first born or eldest daughters, this need for control and perfection, so that might have added to your already heightened anxiety over these photos.) I have a copy of the “Serenity Prayer” on my desk at work AND on my dresser at home (I also added to the end of of the prayer, “I trust you to take care of those things I cannot! Take them! Amen!”). And I know it by heart! I’m so glad you’ve found peace with these photos being public, but please know that people like me who have been inspired by your story will support you no matter what you want to share. We’re rooting for you!!

  • Terry says:

    Beautiful bride and a beautiful day to always remember!

  • Sarah says:

    Your wedding pictures are lovely! I am so glad that you are so happy and that your future is so bright! Thank you for sharing with us, and I pray that you continue to find healing and joy.

  • Jan Ledwig says:

    Sorry I selected to receive all comments by mistake!

  • Leah D says:

    Jessica, these photos are beautiful! Thank you for sharing them as well as part of your story with us! I didn’t discover your family’s music until your siblings released their Speak My Mind album, but I’ve been a fan ever since. I love seeing pictures of and reading about your adventures with Sean. Y’all are so sweet and seem to have so much fun together! Happy anniversary!

  • Jenna Smith says:

    Beautiful pics of a very happy couple! So happy for you and your husband. I know there are others, including me, that are very thankful for you sharing your journey because of the encouragement you give them. Continue to choose joy!

  • Jan says:

    Beautiful photos of family and special day indeed! Thanks for sharing and having the courage to continue to trust what matters most!

  • Jan says:

    Beautiful photos of family and special day indeed! Thanks for having the courage to continue to trust what matters most!

  • Heather says:

    Thanks for sharing, Jessica. God Bless.

  • Kelli Skrehot says:

    Absolutely BEATUTIFUL pics! Thank you for sharing those. I personally look forward to your FUTURE…. when the press lets go of the past. Your making great progress in that!

  • Christina Keaton says:

    Thank you for sharing! I completely understand where you’re coming from. Glad you’re happy and love to see the smiles on everyone’s faces. My favorite picture is probably the one of your mom, Grandma J, great grandma and you. Keep working on healing. It will take time and is a constant work in progress. Praying for you.

  • Becky Charleston says:

    I really enjoyed seeing your beautiful wedding photos. Thank you for sharing these, Jessica. You are so beautiful and strong. It was fun to see your family enjoying your special day as well. I miss you all. May God continue to bless you and your husband in your marriage.

  • dominique VERNAISON says:

    i

  • Rebekah says:

    Precious and encouraging! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing…I have a good idea what it takes!😏😊

  • lynne Galuppo says:

    Love the photo’s. I was going to ask if Sean took them…but oh wait, he was busy that day. Happy anniversary .

  • John F Browne says:

    Hi Jess & Sean…Sue and I are so happy for the two of you and we thank you for sharing your wedding photos and story. It has been difficult for us too, to not be able to comfort you and your family after we learned of your father’s arrest. It was a shock to us all. Sue and I still fondly remember talking to you over the seat back on a couple of bus rides on the 2015 Fan Tour. I still have your handwritten list of musician suggestions you gave me. Don’t know if you ever got the time to read Susan’s middle grade Halloween Book…hope the topic was OK. It was motivated by one of our granddaughter’s costumes. Sue has written two more books with the same heroine…..I have seen your latest music video and love it and I’m looking forward to more as you get the music produced. Sincerely, John (and Susan) Browne….Washington, State

  • Charles Holcomb says:

    Jessica,
    Thank-you for sharing. I cannot imagine how you must feel. Your pictures are beautiful and you can see the love that Sean has for you and you for him by the way you guys looks at each other. Hold on to that.

  • Carol Garcia says:

    Thank you for trusting us with such a precious day. Your happiness then and now is so apparent. Praying for your continued growth and healing! Happy anniversary!

  • Lisa Harrolle says:

    What beautiful memories! Thank you for sharing your special day Jessica. I was hoping you would some day. It’s so good to see you happy.

  • Cynthia Varnum says:

    Your sweet pictures show a lot of love! Thanks for sharing ❤️

  • Pauline Taylor says:

    Oh the pics are just BEAUTIFUL!! You have such a sweet spirit. We love you dear and think you are amazing. You have overcome so much in your few short years – you are a survivor and a role model for all who have and will go through what you did. Keep shining!!

  • terese says:

    Thank you for sharing, it’s so wonderful to see how happy you both are. Love how you two make each other laugh & may the Lord bless you with a lifetime of happiness together. ♥

  • Laura Horton says:

    Sounds like you’re healing. I’m so happy for you. Thank you for taking us on your journey. I loved seeing the joy on everyone’s faces. I particularly loved the one of you with the older woman who I can only assume is your grandmother (or Sean’s). It made me smile to think that one day, I might get to be in a similar picture with my granddaughters on their wedding day. Since they are only 5 and 7, I hope to wait a few years. LOL Again, thank you for sharing the joy! Congratulations on two years and here’s my blessing for many more wonderful years for you and Sean! Muah!

  • Lara says:

    Jessica your wedding pictures are absolutely gorgeous. That dress looks like it was made just for you. You and Sean compliment each other so we’ll. I love how you feed off each other’s energy. Here is to many more happy years together. Thank you for sharing a little piece of your special day with us.

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