A Ten Year Reflection.

2016. It’s been ten years this winter. Ten years since I was on tour in Minnesota, Michigan, and Wisconsin, doing my song and dance onstage in between being grabbed by the hair, dragged and held down, yelled at to stop disobeying the man in charge or I would face worse consequences. It was a season of scrambling bodies, sudden screaming, being afraid that a weapon would be drawn, that anyone who tried to intervene would be killed. I came to the terrifying realization that the system I was in was not sustainable. I worried the violence would not be stopped in time, no one was coming to save me, no one would believe me. That the majority might side with the man who said I was the agitator, the man who had hurt me since I was a child.

I made it out a few months later. Where and when it counted, I was believed and supported. Contrary to the experience of nearly every other woman I have connected with, the justice system was able to put my abuser in prison.

I’ve since had the chance to face and integrate the worst experiences of my life, to make and release art that was healing for me and others, to share my story in the service of raising funds and awareness for other survivors because everyone deserves to be safe and supported no matter whether you can sing for the camera or not, no matter where you were born, or the choices of your parents.

The last ten years have also carried an increasing tension and hurt of seeing the same type of power and high-control systems that I escaped come into greater and greater power around me and everyone I love. It hits so very close to home. To see people I admire, either with their lack of condemnation or their very actions, show me they believe treating women and girls without care and respect is not a disqualification for leadership.

Criminals of any and all kinds should be stopped and held accountable.

Your daughters, your sisters, your wives, and your friends all need you to be clear in your words and deeds. They are watching and listening to see how you view the mistreatment of women and people with less power by the powerful. They are trying to understand if you are a trustworthy person, if you are someone they can come to should they need help.

There is and always has been so much work to do. My actions, energies, voice, and heart will always be drawn most to the girls who are hurt and the incredible women they grow into, to the people being shoved face down into the ground and told to comply when they are speaking out against systems of authority raging out of control.

-JWF